2008 May « vive le vélo

Archive for May, 2008

funfair bangkok

May 25, 2008 · Filed under thailand · Tagged amusement park, bangkok, buy different, funfair, thailand

You want Canon? We’ve got Canon half-price. You want white teeth? We’ve got the latest laser equipment. You want massage? We’ve got Thai face foot oil massage sit here please. You want contact lenses? We’ve got the latest generation. You want clothes? We tailor-make in 12 hours. Want Lacoste, Nike, Adidas, Diesel? We’ve got. You like hippy style? We’ve got batik for adventurous Asia traveller.

You want to see temples? We bring you fast drop you off here 5 Baht. You want eco-friendly souvenir? We’ve got miniature tuk-tuks, bicycles recycled from beer cans. You want insect repellent? We’ve got Boots. You want fake student cards, press cards? We make for you. You want fruit? We peel and cut for you. You want maps? We print fake Nelles for you.

You want company on trip? We’ve got girls. You want Buddha? We’ve got smiling Buddha’s, Golden Buddha’s, Emerald Buddha’s, Ten Thousand Buddha’s I bring you 10 Baht. Where you from where you go? Tuk-tuk bring you fast 5 Baht for you. You want food? We cook food food food on every pavement. You don’t like we make banana pancake for you. We’ve got bubble gum pink taxi, lime green and yellow, the colours from the street buffet. Want music? We play loud from Europe. You want trips to the countryside? We got non-tourist trips look at pictures please here. You want tattoo? We make please sit here. Want cheap accommodation? We’ve got Khao San. You want expensive accommodation? We’ve got Khao San. Want to meet people from your country? We’ve got Khao San. You want software? We’ve got every software.

Want to live here? ‘We need many English teachers in and outside Bangkok’ Want holiday? We make holiday for you. Want? We have. Special price for you.

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ikia

May 25, 2008 · Filed under Iran, people · Tagged airport, ikia, Iran, khomeini, slowness, terminal, time

It’s a pity we didn’t have all the time in the world to visit all Iran and only saw the northern part – Azerbaijan and Gilan, the land of rice. But we promised ourselves to return and headed to IKIA (Imam Khomeini Int’l Airport).

The new airport is very Iranian in character: when we arrive in the evening things move slowly in the almost empty terminal. Cleaners walk back and forth with empty buckets. Staff pushes trolleys here and there. Through the airport window with the desert view you see bored the official taxi drivers playing volleyball. We hope to find a place to sleep. But the closest hotel is in Tehran (or so the girl at Information thinks, but please, can’t you see she’s chatting on the phone). But you can sleep in the prayer room, which is covered in soft, synthetic Persian carpets. Like any public place in Iran there’s a section for men and one for women. An MDF board leaving a wide gap at the bottom and the top separates us. At four in the morning the lights switch on and men enter to pray. On the other side of the board women whisper their prayers and with the lights off. At 8 am cleaners chase us away.

In Iran unwritten schedules dictate life. Bakeries open for lunch and for dinner only. Canteens close at 4 pm. At lunch time the stores at IKIA are locked and the manager walks away with a food package. We’re looking for a restaurant, ask around here and there, and finally we’re lucky enough to skip the western style pizza-sandwich cafés. In the car parking in the basement a canteen serves rice and fish to airport staff. After lunch IKIA gets busier and the arrival and departure boards start to blink more frequently, airport girls mumble louder through loud-speakers about flights. The four elevators are far too small to handle crowds and so they get clogged. Time to pack and go. Till later, Iran.

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the definitive glossary of iran

May 21, 2008 · Filed under Iran, on the road · Tagged abc, glossary, Iran, road

Or: patterns of Iran as they appear to the visitor

Asphalt (n.)
The high-grade fabric that ties Iran together. Runs to the remotest village and as an emergency lane next to most of the roads.

Bicycle (n.)
A vehicle composed of two wheels in a frame. Most likely invented to travel through Iran.

Car (n.)
At 2 euro for a full tank the holy cow of Iran. Reverence is expressed on the windshield with stickers that spell ‘My God’, ‘Only God’ or simply ‘God’.

Chador (n.)
Farsi for tent and chador. Home is not left without either. The chador is dictated by Islamic law, the tent is packed in the car and set up at a picnic, against the sun or to withdraw from public.

Drive, to (v.)
The manoeuvring of a vehicle with four wheels that until 2007 was permitted to anyone with some change for the theory exam and a pass photo. Requirements have become stricter since then.

Emergency lane (n.)
Best lane for cycling, be it the busiest lane. Used to double-park, reverse, to run a kebab stall, for individuals to wait, saunter, watch traffic, for taxis to drop off and pick up individuals.

Flow (n.)
The continuous stream of traffic that runs its course without traffic rules. It takes some time before a foreign cyclist goes with it.

Garage (n.)
A building for cars at the edge of town where it occupies every second building. The signboard often shows photo of a pimped street car.

Hello hello wot country (excl.)
Farsi for salam aleikum. A phrase most used in the emergency lane.

Honk (n. + v.)
The sound activated by a car’s gear stick. Sometimes coincides with a greeting or an emergency.

IKIA (n.)
See post.

ISO 9001 (abbr.)
A code painted on walls and used in signboards and products everywhere. Somewhat coincidentally the code on our Ridgeback Voyage spells ISO 9002.

Je ne sais quoi (n.)
The indescribable quality that makes Iranian culture so Iranian.

Khodro (trademark)
Literally ‘machine’. Car designed and produced in Iran. Omnipresent on the road, along with the Mazda pickup truck, the Citroën Xantia, the Peugeot 206 and 405, and Renault 5 which are manufactured in Iran under licence. Also see Saipa.

Litter (n.)
The rubbish along the road that shows the proximity to a town.

Mast (n.)
Farsi for yoghurt. Most refreshing before cycling, during a break or after a long day.

Moped (n.)
125 cc motorised bicycle, inclined to overtake bicycles at high speed exclaiming hello hello, stop in front and turn around moments later.

Naan (n.)
Farsi for bread, eg sangkek, lavásh, barbari as made fresh in bakeries at the end of town, before 10 am and after 4 pm.

Okay (excl.)
Used to express praise. Example: “Khoumeini okay man, music America okaay, BMW okaaay!”

Picnic (n.)
Outing with bread, feta cheese, chicken and rice dishes, tea and fruit, packed in the trunk before any road trip.

Police (n.)
Uniformed force parked on the roadside either in clean white Mercedes sedans or on rusty mopeds. Stops foreigners for a chat, a tea break or to offer an escort through tunnels.

Rice (n.)
Staple food of Iran. Natives swear to Gilan rice, which supposedly tastes better than imported rice.

Saipa (trademark)
Backbone of Iranian retail. Designed by Nissan, produced in Iran under license. Cargo height can reach up to two stories. Also see Khodro.

Tea (n.)
The hot drink a driver brings in family-sized thermos bottles. Drunk at a roadside parking or simply at the roadside.

Tunnel (n.)
Underground passage through a hill. Sometimes lit, paved or ending next to a cliff without separation. Video

Utopia (n.)
Commonly associated with the US (1), Australia (2) and Canada (3).

View (n.)
A breathtaking visual appearance that probably is best illustrated by music.

War graphics (n.)
Visual images and symbols on posters, billboards and statues associated with the Iran-Iraq war. Recurring themes are clenched AK-47’s and fallen soldiers. Sometimes inspired by graphical artist Han Hoogerbrugge. Also see the post posters.

Xenophile (n.)
An individual in the emergency lane calling hello hello wot country.

Yahoo (n.)
1. Logo used on coffeenet signboards.
2. In combination with “what your ID?” referring to your chat name in Yahoo Messenger.

Zigzag (n. + v.)
The sudden change of direction vehicles make at any moment, as part of the traffic flow.

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posters

May 16, 2008 · Filed under Iran, people · Tagged billboard, Iran, iraq, memorials, poster, propaganda, war

When you enter a town you are faced with fallen soldiers from the Iran-Iraq war. Their pictures are framed in big billboards, in small villages on smaller posters. Everywhere they look at you from black and white pictures reminding about themselves and war on almost every step in town.

Locals are used to them don’t pay attention, for us it feels strange to be surrounded by glances of the dead. In Qazvin several walls are covered by a huge portrait of a shot-down air force commander. On the roundabout a fighter jet points towards the sky. Other roundabouts are adorned with statues of fighters holding AK-47’s.

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shortcut

May 10, 2008 · Filed under Iran, on the road · Tagged china visa

Well, we’re skipping Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan and China. During the Olympic Games in Beijing the Chinese authorities tighten visa requirements for tourists.

On the upside we now have a few extra months in South East Asia.

We didn’t find direct connections to South East Asia from the Stan countries, but we did from Tehran to Bangkok with Mahan Air on May 21. This way the bikes will be handled twice instead of four times, which is a big relief.

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coffeenet

May 8, 2008 · Filed under Iran, on the road · Tagged coffeenet, Iran, rasht

WE ARE in an internet café in Rasht. An internet café in Iran is called a coffeenet. Without the ‘café’ the word sounds less like a place where you could order a beer.

Like in the bus and on the beach women and men are separated. In R.’s section a girl reveals her chador in front of the web cam, in my section three teenagers sit around a screen and click though pictures of girls with uncovered hair.

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